


Myrddin

by diddlydang



Series: The Ferdibert Collection [9]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, It's a nightmare so, M/M, Nightmares, Not Really Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-11-02 13:04:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20755982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diddlydang/pseuds/diddlydang
Summary: “He promised, El. He promised me.” He screws his eyes shut, grasping her smaller hands in his. “He died out there while I was sitting here, doing Goddess knows what. He died alone, without me there.”Her hands leave his but then there are arms wrapping around his back and her head is against his chest, clutching him tightly to her. It’s hard with how much shorter she is, but she makes it work. “It’s going to be alright, Hubert.”





	Myrddin

**Author's Note:**

> more ferdibert content for my lovelies uwu//
> 
> enjoy!!!

There’s a knock on his door. 

“Come in.”

He doesn’t bother looking up to greet whoever it is. With Ferdinand gone out to protect the Great Bridge of Myddrin, he had twice the workload. He didn’t mind it as it would help Ferdie, but it meant he had to focus more. It’s only when he hears a familiar voice say his name he looks up. 

“Lady Edelgard.” He hastens to stand up and bows. “I did not realize you were visiting.”

“It’s not a social call.” Her voice is unusually soft. “It’s… I have something you need to see.”

Unease rises up in the back of his throat. “What happened?”

She hands him an envelope. It’s been opened, so he assumes she’s read the contents already. “What is this?”

“Just read it. Please.” 

The horrible feeling boiling under his skin worsens as he pulls the letter out. 

_ Emperor Edelgard, _

_ It’s with a heavy hand that I write to tell you we suffered a complete and utter defeat at the Bridge of Myddrin. The Kingdom army swarmed us and annihilated everyone, including reinforcements. _

_ Per your request, we can confirm Prince Dimitri and Professor Byleth still live, despite both the Prince’s execution and the Professor’s supposed death five years ago. They are just as strong as you warned, even with our preparations we were no match against their combined might. _

_ Lorenz Gloucester proved to be traitor. He switched sides mid-battle and we believe he means to turn his father to the Kingdom, meaning we have lost a strong ally in Alliance territory. Without Myrddin to sway Count Gloucester, we have no choice but to expect that we will lose all support from the Count and any of his lands. All future operations will be considerably harder to carry out on Alliance grounds. _

_ The Empire lost many souls here. General Ladislava and Prime Minister Ferdinand were among the casualties. Remaining troops confirmed they gave their lives to defend the bridge for the Empire. I know this will be of little comfort to you and your allies seeing as how close you were to Prime Minister Ferdinand in particular, but these are the only words of comfort I can find to offer. _

There was more to the letter, at least 2 pages worth of extra details on the state of affairs but Hubert couldn’t bring himself to continue reading, all he could do was focus on how Ferdinand had died while he was in some office doing paperwork.

“This can’t be right.” The words felt stilted, wrong as they came out of his mouth like he knew Ferdinand was truly dead even as he denied it. “Ferdinand would retreat. He promised me he would.”

Gentle fingers touch him, slowly loosening the tight grip he has on the paper. 

“You know Ferdinand.” She says. “Always trying to be brave.”

“He's a fool.” He bites out, struggling to see through the tears gathering in his eyes. “He promised.” He hates how his voice cracks on the last word, how he can’t stop the shaking of his hands or his rapid breathing. 

“Hubert.”

“He promised, El. He promised me.” He screws his eyes shut, grasping her smaller hands in his. “He died out there while I was sitting here, doing Goddess knows what. He died alone, without me there.”

Her hands leave his but then there are arms wrapping around his back and her head is against his chest, clutching him tightly to her. It’s hard with how much shorter she is, but she makes it work. “It’s going to be alright, Hubert.”

He breathes in deeply, unnerved by how it rattles in his chest. It feels like something got knocked loose, like something’s gone missing. “Do you think he was in pain?”

“Thinking those questions will only hurt you.”

“I wouldn’t have to wonder if I had simply _ been _ there for him.” He can’t get it out of his mind, Ferdinand being flung from his horse by a spear, armor shredded and blood seeping out of an open wound onto the ground beneath him. He wonders if Ferdinand tried to keep good on his promise but couldn’t, if he had tried to claw his way out, tried to find a way back to Hubert only to be crushed beneath the enemy. If he died with apologies on the tip of his tongue and blood bubbling in the back of his throat. 

The thought makes him feel awful things in the pit of his stomach. 

“Hubert. Stop thinking about it.” 

He squeezes his eyelids tighter to try and block the images from his mind, holds Edelgard closer to him to try and ground himself. 

It doesn’t work. 

Did Ferdinand hate him for not being there when he died? Did he have the time to feel hate or was it to fast for him to even process? 

The only one who can answer his questions is Ferdinand, but he will never speak another word. 

“He’s dead,” Hubert says. The words taste like ashes.

“Yes.”

“I...” His tongue feels awkward in his mouth, like a foreign entity. He doesn’t know what to say. “I…” He repeats, desperate to keep the hopelessness from crashing down on him. 

Edelgard doesn’t say anything more. The two of them are bad with comforting words, but she is familiar and that is enough for him. They will always have each other. He feels the front of his shirt grow wet and he lets his head rest on top of hers, having to bend down to manage it. He closes his eyes and feels the tears leak out. The only sound in the room is the quiet sobs between the two of them.

\---

He wakes up with a start, eyes flying open and--

His arm is around a waist. A very familiar waist that he knows intimately. Ferdinand. 

Unable to stop himself, he sits up and shakes the other man. “Ferdie.” He says and turns Ferdinand over onto his back. He’s a heavy sleeper so he shakes him harder, more desperately. “Ferdie, wake up.”

He watches amber eyes open blearily before they squint up at him. “Hubie?” Ferdinand’s voice is heavy with sleep, slow and tired. Hubert will feel guilty about neglecting Ferdie of sleep later, right now all he can feel is relief. “What’a matter?”

“I..” He swallows uncomfortably. “I had a nightmare.”

Ferdinand blinks again and his eyes get clearer. He sits up in bed, sheets pooling around his hips. “You alright?” 

“I’m better.” He says. His voice still shakes. “You died. I wasn’t there for you.”

Ferdinand’s features are normally soft and kind, a complete juxtaposition to Hubert, but somehow they get even more gentle. “Hubie…”

Hubert can’t stand the distance between them, as little as it may be. He pulls Ferdinand into his lap, head in the crook of Ferdinand's neck. “I’m sorry.”

Strong and calloused hands run up and down his back, hands that have tiny little scars littered across them from years of handling weapons, years of training. “What are you apologizing for?”

He sniffles. “I don’t know.”

Ferdinand hums and Hubert feels the vibrations from where his lips rest on Ferdie’s neck. 

“I wish I could promise you I won’t die,” Ferdinand says quietly like he’s trying not to break the stillness around them. “I want to be able to say that, but I can’t. I’m sorry that I can’t do that for you.”

“Do it anyway,” Hubert begs, pressing a shaky kiss to the underside of Ferdinand’s jaw. Ferdinand's heartbeat is strong under his lips, pulse going steady, if not a little slowly from sleep. “Please, sweetheart.”

“I promise.” Ferdinand says and Hubert can almost believe that those two words will keep Ferdinand safe from harm. He knows fully well that Ferdinand can still get hurt, or even killed, but it’s easier to ignore that horrible thought with him in his arms, promising that he’ll live. 

He will hold onto it with both of his hands and he will sooner let his arms torn off than his grip be wrenched away from Ferdinand. 

“I love you.” He whispers into Ferdinand’s neck. “Goddess, I love you.”

“I love you too.” 

Hubert pulls back and holds Ferdinand head in his shaky hands, running his thumbs over his cheekbones. “You complete me. You make me better than what I am.”

“That’s not true.” Ferdinand’s breath ghosts across his lips and he longs to taste it, to sip it from his mouth. “You were always good.”

Hubert has done vile, horrible and cruel things. He’s not ashamed, but there are times he feels unfit of Ferdinand’s affection, unworthy of how good Ferdinand strives to be. There are times that when he looks down at his hands he swears he can see the blood dripping from them. Luckily, Ferdinand can almost always push these thoughts from his head. He is good at comfort, something Hubert struggles to do whenever Ferdinand is the one who needs support. 

“You make me better.” He repeats because he knows in his heart for it to be true. If Ferdinand thought him good before then he can only go up, can only improve with him at his side. 

Ferdinand doesn’t try and argue this time. Hubert doesn’t know if it’s because he agrees or if he knows he won’t be able to change Hubert’s mind. Either way, he smiles at Hubert, a small delicate thing. 

Hubert closes the small distance between their lips, moving slowly against Ferdinand’s, savoring the taste that is so uniquely Ferdie. The hands-on his back go from running soothing circles to digging into his skin, blunt nails absolutely leaving marks. It’s a grounding feeling, one that helps cement him in the moment and away from the nightmare where Ferdinand had--

The fingers dip in more insistently into his back like Ferdinand knew his thoughts had gone spiraling. Then he pulls away, much to Hubert’s disappointment. He goes to lean in again but one of Ferdinand’s hands slide to his face and a thumb rests on his lips, stopping him.

“I’m not going to die on you,” Ferdinand says. His amber eyes flicker about Hubert’s face. He doesn’t know what Ferdinand is looking for, had no hope of knowing. 

He remembers the dream and he can’t stop himself, “If you get hurt, retreat.” 

“I can’t just--”

“You have to. You have to live. I don’t care if you leaving causes everyone else to die. You return to me. Alive.”

“I can’t--”

“Ferdinand.” His voice cracks in the middle and the other man immediately stops talking, mouth shutting with a soft click. “I-- I cannot lose you. You are... You are the most precious thing in my life. Please, if you can, retreat.”

Amber eyes crinkle at the corners and he sees the tears start building up in Ferdinand’s eyes. He was always a wonderfully open man, wearing his heart on his sleeve. It is one of the many things Hubert adored about him. He wipes at the tears with trembling fingers, resting his forehead against Ferdie’s. 

“I will,” Ferdinand says eventually before closing his eyes. “Goddess knows I won’t let myself be torn away from you.”

“Good.” Hubert is a selfish and possessive person when it comes to those he loves. “I won’t let you go.”

They are quiet after that, comforting each other in the night air until Ferdinand yawns and Hubert remembers he woke him up. He lets go of Ferdie’s face, smiling when Ferdinand makes an unhappy noise. 

“You should go back to bed.”

“You feeling better?” Ferdinand’s words are slurring together again, like they did when Hubert had first woken him up. “You...sleep?”

“I’ll go to bed.” He assures him and the sleepy but still incredibly bright smile Ferdinand shoots him makes any lingering fears he had disappear. 

Ferdinand pats his cheek fondly before giving him a fleeting kiss, then crawling out of Hubert’s lap and turning to lay on his side. Hubert lays behind him, resting his hand over the smaller man’s heart, the steady hum becoming his lullaby for the night. With him being wrapped around Ferdinand like he is, he can feel each exhale as if it were his own. He holds him tighter and buries his face in orange hair before he falls asleep.

There were no more nightmares that night, or for a while after that.

**Author's Note:**

> I need to say that while the nightmare was during the Blue Lions route, they are happily together in the Black Eagle one so there will be no death in their future :)
> 
> Im going to run out of things to put in these end notes but i have to keep doing it, it's like my thing now ya know?
> 
> Dorothea: Wow Ferdie you look tired, did Hubie keep you up all night?? ;)))
> 
> Ferdinand: I know what you're implying. 
> 
> Dorothea: I mean, its pretty obvious-
> 
> Ferdinand: And no! He did not keep me up doing paperwork. Thank you for the concern :)
> 
> Dorothea, remembering Ferdinand is an idiot: Nevermind.


End file.
